Monday, January 16, 2012
My Resentment of Men
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little
insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But
if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at
my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
― Marilyn Monroe
I
HATE MEN That doesn’t mean I’m not
physically attracted to them or I don’t desire to have sex with a man… but I DAMN
Sure HATE MEN. When I was younger I remember having a best friend name
Shaquasia (Her name has been changed for security purposes). Now you could say
that me and Shaquasia was like night and day, we disagreed about EVERYTHING but
one thing is for sure we had the same taste in guys. The guys Shaquasia thought
was cute so did I , the guys I like Shaquasia would like & most likely she
got them. Now as a best friend in those days I couldn’t be jealous or mad
because I never had a boyfriend or wanted one. But one day this boy named Omar
who was Shaquasia’s boyfriends friend at the time asked me out, & I was
happy for once im about to have my 1st boyfriend who’s like 14 &
im 12… after 5 minutes of going out he broke up with me & laughed at me in
my face while I cried, Shaquasia comforted me by saying “it wasn’t you Mills,
it was him”.
Fast Forward 2 Years im 14 in a new school
called Roberto Clemente MS , now I was known for getting more sidekicks then
Paris Hilton I had the 3 the LX and the LX 09 but at the time I met a boy named
Woo Woo I had a 3. I really liked this kid even though my best friend at the
time named Sarah liked him too and he liked her back. But one day I grew balls
and broke the girl code I asked Woo Woo out, like sho I aint have nothing to
lose so why not right? I asked him out and he said yes, but right after I was
telling him how happy I was he asked if he could use my sidekick all day… he
was my boyfriend so yeah why not. We was going out for 5 periods (one period =
45 mins.) at lunch I was sitting with my girls and he was sitting with his guys
then one of my guy friends came up to me and said “Woo Woo said its over” I had
to show no emotion, I took my phone back and walked away. When I asked my guy
friend why he broke up with me, he said “I don’t know I just said so you go out
with Kamilah everybody laughed and he said to tell you its over”
So here I am insecure and hurt by those
two major events of my life and when I finally came to the decision that I will
look for a guy who can love and cherish me, It was disspointment after disappointment
after another. If they didn’t want a relationship, they wasn’t interested in
nothing but casual sex, if I wasn’t bipolar I was too attached. It was always “my
fault” why I couldn’t keep a guy but now I realized its not ! & This is why I resent men, now they don’t want nothing but
sex beauty and a person who can dress with the top name brands. Im sorry im not
the lightskin beauty you want me to be im only human and I was born this way.
Im smart and have a great personality doesn’t that matter?
To
The MANY Males Who SHITTED ON ME
Thank
you, You’ve opened my eyes to what I deserve and what I don’t and I damn sure don’t
deserve a guy who can’t like me for me. If you can’t handle my insecurities, my
needy moments, my jealous rages, but you can handle me when I’m all sweet and
sensual and motherly then you don’t deserve me at all. SCREW YOU.
xOxo
Kenya West
Labels:
#Boys,
#Kenya,
#Kenya #Love #Relationships #Boys,
#rants,
#relationsips
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