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Sunday, April 8, 2012

What being heartbroken so many times taught me


Being hurt so many times taught me so many things, it taught me how to cry for people you may or may not have really cared for. I've cared for so many people in the course of two years its ridiculous.
Yesterday I decided to end things with K.B. i gave her an ultimatum, me or her exes - and evidently she chose her exes.
That taught me two things: "Love" is strong & Not every break up is neccesarily my fault.
I put "love" in quotations because what K.B. feels for her exes maybe love, but what she recieve in return is a mere "I want to be with you". I've learned that love isn't how long you've known your significant other or how many times you have sex or when you have sex. It what you feel..

Before today i blamed all my failed attempts at a relationship on me, its not really my fault though. It was others who couldn't handle such a deep affection i was willing to show, or couldn't handle my "realness" as my Bro would put it. With Mike it wasn't me being too pushy, it was him who wasn't able to handle the thing he started. With B it wasn't me, it was him who lied and manipulated me into thnking one way when it was the other, with Mel it wasnt me it was him who wanted more than being close he wanted sex.

Maybe i am too weak sometimes, but I DONT CARE <3

- Kamilah

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